You know you’re just not as happy as you could be.
You think of making a change; moving house, changing jobs, quitting that committee, finding a new school, sparking a new friendship, changing your diet, starting a different fitness regime.
You have an idea and as you research and talk about it your fear and worries begin to build. Like waiting in line to board a scary ride the closer you get to the front the more you start thinking of all the things that could go wrong.
When it comes time to decide and take action you are firmly stuck.
Stuck in the pit of ‘what if”.
What if I choose wrong?
What if I fail?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I mess up?
What if I can’t go back?
What if it’s all a disaster?
What if, after what if, after what if.
Your fear mechanism, the one designed to save you from sabre tooth tigers, is now in overdrive.
Like a hypervigilant, overprotective parent it’s there warning you against anything that could possibly leave you feeling uncomfortable or emotionally hurt.
Stop you could embarrass yourself.
Stick to what you know because if you fail you’ll lose everything.
If you have a go and mess up you’ll let everyone down.
If it doesn’t work out they’ll think you’re not good enough.
If its wrong you won’t be able to fix it, or go back.
I get it, it can be utterly terrifying to have a go and make a change.
I recently stood up, tried something new and it didn’t go too well. Afterwards every ounce of my being screamed at me to run and hide from the world.
I didn’t want to ever feel this way again and yet I also know that to evolve, grow and seek out more dreams, discomfort will be joining me for the ride.
Failure hurts and disappointment drains away our enthusiasm, if we let it.
When making changes trust that part of you that called out for change, instead of the doubt and fear that are screaming to be heard.
Prepare to ride the waves of emotion and whatever happens remain focussed and strong on what you set out to achieve, while learning all you can along the way.
What if it doesn’t work out? What if you chose the wrong path?
Then cross that off your list and try something else, knowing you are now all the richer for the experience.
Confidence comes from the doing.
The alternative is to remain safely wrapped in the bosom of your comfort zone with frustration and resentment along for the ride.
Nothing good comes from stagnation and wallowing in a pit of ‘what ifs’.
So what is the change you want to make?
What would happen if you did make that change?
What would happen if you didn’t?