It used to go something like this………
I go out with friends.
We laugh, we joke, we tell stories.
I enjoy the moment, I let go and happily share.
I laugh even louder, I am more animated, I have a lot of fun.
I speak honestly, openly and disagree with respect.
I feel true and I feel good.
I skip to the car, and as I close my door the waves of self doubt ripple through me.
Did I talk too much?
Was I too loud?
Too bubbly?
Too honest?
Over the top?
Did I hog the conversation?
Did I say the ‘wrong’ thing?
Did I get carried away?
Was I too much, am I too much?
Will they stop liking me?
I decide next time to tone myself down, to quieten my opinions.
I will try to ‘fit in’
I begin to show up as a dull version of me.
I withhold my wisdom and suppress my feelings.
I no longer feel good and trudge to the car, slam the door and feel very fake.
And then I realised………
I had lost myself the moment I began seeking approval.
Their will be times when I may be too much for others.
I do have a bubbly effervescence that not everyone enjoys.
I am an enthusiastic story teller and not everyone wants to listen or read.
I can be as excitable as a new puppy and this frustrates some.
BUT…..I am always kind, respectful and honest.
When we live wholeheartedly we are not for everyone.
There will be times when we are either too much or even too little for some people.
And that is okay.
The alternative is to live an exhaustive charade, a life built around fitting in and pleasing others.
Saying the ‘right’ thing.
Doing the ‘right’ thing.
Moulding ourselves to fit what people want.
Blending in and feeling lost.
My advice…….
Be every bit of the person you were born to be.
Speak your truth, shine your beacon and wrap your message up with love.
You will attract people who love you, FOR YOU, and you will love them right back.
This is YOUR one great life, live it authentically and it will indeed lead towards fabulousness.
Love this post Karen, and I think you’re spot on. I believe every time we dilute ourselves, hold ourselves in, or in any way twist ourselves into some pretzel form of who-we-are-not we do a disservice not only to ourselves but to the world as a whole. If we’re not shining full-on bright who we are, how will those we’re in resonance with ever find us? And when we show up as who-we-are-not we take up space that rightly belongs to someone who really is that thing we’re trying to cram ourselves into. Here’s to shining brightly, authentically owning our uniqueness, and owning our fabulousity.
Oh yes Deborah spot on. I enjoyed a giggle at the vision of us twisted around all pretzel like into something we are not and then thought of the discomfort we feel when like that.