What’s wrong and how am I to blame

I watched him stumble up the street, scuffing his shoes as he walked, head down.

“What’s wrong?” were the first words out of my mouth.

“Nothing,” he muttered.

I wasn’t convinced.  “You don’t look happy. What’s wrong?” (again)

Then came the barrage of Mum questions about friendships, sport, teachers, lunch and even the weather, as I all but convinced him something was wrong.  When in fact it wasn’t.

He was simply being a kid who’d had a hot day at school and felt like dragging his shoes. Nothing was wrong.

In all honesty, I think and ask this question more times a day than I can count.

What’s wrong?  What’s wrong?  What’s wrong?

And then if something does go wrong …  How am I to blame?  What I could I have done better?

Too often we wake expecting problems, and expecting to solve them to.

“What’s wrong?” we ask, while mapping solutions in our head.

As problem solvers we want to know why things haven’t gone to plan so we can fix it and avoid it in the future.

It means we’re on alert and under enormous pressure to get it right, to avoid the problems.

But, while we’re on the hunt for what’s wrong we’re failing to notice what’s right.

We are not even searching for what’s going well, great and good?

Do you ever ask what’s right?  What went well today? What are your wins?

Do you fall into bed and say I’ve done my best?

Do you wake expecting good, ready for ease and embracing joy.

Instead of asking what’s wrong, ask what’s great… Ask what’s going well.

Ask your kids, lovers, friends and most importantly ask yourself….  often.