I’m not ready yet. It’s been my annoying anthem this year.
I have a great idea, and analyse the hell out of it.
Then I worry I won’t be able to do everything right, so I do nothing.
The ideas aren’t lost, I’m filling up books and journals with them. Course ideas. Recipe ideas. Business ideas. Gardening ideas. Hobby ideas.
I’m constantly talking about my ideas too, chewing on the ears of many a willing listener. Speaking of new jobs, events I want to attend, holidays I want to save for and workshops I might teach.
But I’m doing none of it, because I’m not ready yet. Telling myself I’m keeping my options open.
Dissatisfaction is creeping in. I’m not working toward anything fulfilling and I’m frustrated by all the nothingness.
I could continue to explain my days away with… new to town, don’t know enough people, kids need me, washing to do, dinner to cook, floors to clean and visitors are coming. But it’s all an excuse.
When I’m honest I know I’m avoiding taking a genuine step, a committed step, a step forward in case I choose the wrong one. So I create excuses instead.
My very wise, and patient, husband asked me a few weeks ago what’s next? What am I working on?
It was the push I needed, the little prick to my conscience that I was avoiding.
He knows me well. He knows I thrive when I have a future vision. When I can wake each day knowing what I’m inching my way toward. When I can set goals that add up to something valuable and meaningful to me.
Without a defined direction I languish and when I languish I sink into despair.
I know it and he knows it. Still, I avoided a direct answer. “I’m not sure. Don’t want to commit to anything.” Was all I chose to offer up.
He wasn’t giving up that easy. He knew I needed this.
What about that idea we talked about last week? And the one you mentioned earlier, and the other. I’ve been chewing his ear off with ideas for months.
I knew in that moment it was time. Time to explore what I did feel ready for and commit to that.
I needed to, for my own sake, and to re-build my confidence. The confidence I left behind in Melbourne.
The confidence I get from stumbling and picking myself back up. From having a go and realising that I can do things that make a difference.
The confidence that’s still mine and I’ve forgotten to use.
As uncomfortable as it felt, I committed to doing one thing that week, and gave him permission to follow me up… Because accountability is a magical thing when you want to get moving.
And I did it. I set aside a few hours and refused to let my butt off the chair until I’d finished and hit send.
Straight after that I sat at my desk and wrote the emails I’d been avoiding, the scary ones that put me out there and involve others in what’s next. No going back on those.
I applied for a few opportunities, booked tickets for an event and reached out to people I want to deepen my connection with.
I went for it, and it felt scary in the moment and amazing afterwards.
I survived, I’m okay and I’ve had an injector boost to my confidence.
If you’re not ready, holding off on doing anything, waiting until you can do everything, stop.
Stop leaving life on hold as your ideas pile up.
Instead start where you’re ready. Chunk those big ideas down.
Want a veggie patch, grow some herbs in a pot. Want to write a book, start with the first page, or even the title. Want to change jobs, refresh your resume. Want to start a business, decide on a name or write out a product list. Want to paint the house, choose a colour.
Whatever it is commit and start taking small steps today.
Every step will reveal the next and boost your confidence even more.
It’s your one great life, quit languishing and lead the way.
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