Often when people come to me it’s because they’re fed up, frustrated and exhausted from months, and even years of wanting to change something in their life and not succeeding.
They may have goals neatly written down, a vision board hovering over their desk and a pile of affirmations on their bedside and yet change isn’t happening, success isn’t beckoning and they’re going nowhere fast.
Knowing what you want, yearn for, and desire is how meaningful goals are born.
It might be more, calm, flexibility, love, fun, adventure… to fill you up and make the world a better place.
Or some deeper connections, understanding, support, knowledge and people to stand side by side with.
And it could be more money, stability, a bigger home, newer car, the things that create stability in your life.
Whatever it is…. you want it, and you get to want what you want.
But, declaring what we want – birthing our goals – is only the beginning. Next we have to nurture and raise them, even when its hard and it hurts.
So lets ask the REAL question… What are you willing to work hard for? Cross pain barriers for? Risk rejection for? Sacrifice for?
What do you want, and are prepared to strive for, even when it’s not comfortable?
Our goals and intentions shape our wants, and our approach to the struggle determines our success.
You only need watch a baby learning to walk, to see the struggle in action and the monumental determination required to pull themselves back up for days, and even weeks, until those first wobbly steps are mastered.
As a baby we primally accept the struggle and never give up. As an adult we want the reward with minimal struggle.
We hit resistance and avoid pain, we feel emotional unease and back off, we’re not willing to sacrifice comfort to keep going. So, dreams are allowed to whither, goals are pushed further out and lives are half lived.
You say you want to have an honest, loving relationship but you avoid the awkward conversations and vulnerable openness to get there. Instead you settle. Settle for less than.
You want to be paid what you’re worth, build a business worthy of your talents and yet you languish in an easy, unsatisfying space you’ve long outgrown.
You don’t want to risk what you have and so you settle. Settle for a brewing resentment that eventually eats away at your results, your performance and even worse, your joy and fulfilment.
Maybe you want to lose weight, live by the sea, start your own business or learn a new skill.
My question is… How much discomfort are you willing to overcome to have what you want?
That’ll be the difference between what you achieve and what you don’t.
You must be willing to commit to the struggle, to challenge yourself emotionally, mentally and even physically to suffer for what you want.
If it was comfortable and easy, I daresay you’d have it already!
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