There was a time when I believed that once I served the needs of others, guilt free time would be created for ME to relax and indulge myself.
There was a time when I believed if my in tray was clear, my emails were answered and the demands of my boss were met, there would be time left over to spend on my own personal growth.
There was a time when I believed that if the dishes were done, my baby was fed and sleeping peacefully in her cot, that glorious time would appear for me to have a shower and maybe some lunch.
There was a time when I believed that if the house was tidy, the beds were made and clean clothes were dangling on the line I would discover ample time to read stories and play games with my children.
There was a time when I believed, that once both kids had started school, my career would reignite as I rediscovered new passions and time for ME would be in abundance.
There was a time then when I believed that once I had replied to all the texts, filled out all the school notices, caught up on my hubby’s books, ferried kids to after school activities and eventually cooked dinner and finished readers there would be time for me to work on my development and career.
Needless to say while I continued to prioritise the endless urgencies of ‘life’ over my non urgent and yet deeply important desires that precious time for ME never did miraculously appear.
I now believe there is no end point to the ‘needs’ of the world and time for ME is up to ME.
I now believe that time will not just appear, nor will it be created or left over and it is certainly not in abundance. Time is precious and it is up to me to use it wisely.
I now believe a worn out, haggard resentful ME does not equal an inspiring, healthy happy Mum, wife, daughter, friend, sister……..
I now believe the dishes will wait, my family will not be left naked if I skip the washing and beds do not always have to be made.
I now believe that it is okay to reply later, to ask for more time and to say no to invitations that do not light me up.
I now believe that I do not have to do it all and a simple, life brimming with purpose, is a more fabulous life.
And I now know when I have time for ME I am then able to offer, those I love and care about, the very best version of ME…….. and that is way better than having clean clothes and your bed made.
If you are racing around meeting all the ‘needs’ of the world, hoping time for YOU will one day appear.
STOP.
Decide what is important, what lights you up, what restores you, what matters to you and make a plan to do it.
This is your one great life and it is up to you to lead it fabulously.
Oh I love this Karen. I really do. It’s so, so true. A friend once said to me “your kids won’t remember how clean the house was but they will remember what you did with them.”
Oh so very true. The magical “one day” when you have time for yourself never appears unless you MAKE it happen. It’s so easy to go through years and years of your life hoping, wishing and praying for a bit of time. But the solution was there all the time – we have to make it for ourselves.
I am on the path to learning this but not quite there yet. I don’t know why it’s such a hard lesson to learn. As you say, I am so much better for others when I’ve taken care of myself. But I still feel guilty doing something for me before I reach the point of really needing it.
Tricia those well worn habits are not easy to break, you are on the path and that is fantastic. Cheering you on from my own wobbly path