I woke up very early today, I was struggling to sleep.
I had a blog post tumbling around in my head, it was waking me up as I tried to make sense of the story.
I opened my lap top and began to write, it was not making sense.
I kept writing, it was not improving.
I still kept writing, it was getting worse.
I made a pot of tea then returned and wrote some more.
Ate my muesli while writing.
I finally stepped away, the post had become a mess, my mind wandering off on hundreds of tangents.
The shower always helps, off I went.
I came back and frustratingly my mind picked up where I left off.
It was at this point I instinctively knew I should let this one go. Clearly my thoughts were not all there, this message not ready to completely come out.
Instead, I tried to force it out.
I had invested hours of my early morning, time ignoring the kids, time not doing anything but slamming away on my keyboard and pulling at my hair.
My stubbornness and determination took over, I was not going to quit. I would make this blog post work no matter what.
At exactly 1.53pm this afternoon I stood back and I looked at the mess of jumbled sentences all over my screen.
I pressed delete.
Relief swept over me and inspiration returned.
Success is pushing through resistance and not giving up. Success is also knowing when to pause, when to change direction and even when to begin again.
There is no shame in letting go and starting over.
Have you ever started over, what did you learn?
Oh I hear you loud and clear Karen. Initially “delete” is not possible. Not an option in fact. Then as time slips away I spend more time worrying about the piece not gelling than the content of the piece. Sometimes walking away and coming back works. But when it doesn’t I have to summon the courage, poke out my finger and horrors — push delete.
Love that you turned this action into your post. Bet the writing of it just flew!
Delete did not seem like an option earlier in the day, it took lots of courage to let it all go. Thanks for “getting it”
Starting over is hard.. Especially when I’ve put SO MUCH effort into it. But the experience gaiNed from the failed attempt helps – and it makes things smoother for subsequent tries.
Kim, you get it, you get it. I am knowledge wealthier today as a result of the process.
Oh…I so get this. Been there…done that. I have a little sticky note that says: ‘gotta let go to flow and grow’. And I try to remind myself of it everyday.
What a great post – :-)!
Marcia love this, just wrote my own sticky note.
Gotta Let Go to Flow and Grow.
I can relate to this post of letting and knowing there is no shame in doing so. I’ve had to let go and start over many times..but then I learned coming back at it, I am much stronger. Not that I have my own strength but the strength that came through me surrendering to prayer and faith in God to get the job done. Great post!
Thanks Yvonne your words are wonderful.
I’ve been that and done that too..however nowadays I leave more in Draft status and revisit it later to see if it is worth reworking or sending to trash instead.
Wise advice Dominique, I amy have been able to rework it another day, although delete felt good.
I don’t ‘delete’ as often as I used to….I prefer to ‘save’ mine in my journal. I have found bits and pieces of insight among the rubble at times.
“Insight amongst the rubble”, what a great name for a journal. Thanks Debbie.
There have been many times when a post just doesn’t flow from me the way it should. There is an idea floating in my head and I kind of know what I want to say but it just doesn’t happen. Some thoughts are just meant to be internal and not shared. Learning which ones those are and having the strength to hit that delete key is empowering and freeing for your soul.
Yes Kat, I finally experienced the empowerment of letting it go and starting over. i am learning that some thoughts are meant to remain with me for now. Thank you.
Well said! I’ve definitely experienced this, both as a blogger and in other aspects of my life. SO important to be able to evaluate what is going on and feel able to stop or start again.
Thanks Jen, I am sure there are many times in our lives when we soldier on when a revaluation is needed. It is SO important to be able to stop.
Love this… “Success is pushing through resistance and not giving up. Success is also knowing when to pause, when to change direction and even when to begin again.”
Best advice of the day! I think we’ve all been there. This post goes well with reflection, too.
Thank you Carol, I might make a visual with my own quote. Totally thrilled you like it.
Truer words have never been written! I loved the part about the shower, where I have spent up to 20 minutes composing a blog post in my head while all lathered up. Relief often comes to me many days later when an old idea just finally is re-born in a different light. It’s cathartic. Loved this post! Visiting from Mama Kat’s~
Whitney I think many a blog post is developed amongst the soapy lather.
Karen, I don’t experience this so much with blog posts, but definitely in many other areas of my life. It’s usually my ego pushing me to keep going. Sometimes, I have to point out a rocking chair (in my imagination), so my ego can go sit down & be busy in another way!
Janet love the rocking chair visual, my office chair has a lever I can pull to let it rock. I might give it a go, cant hurt.
I can so relate to this! Love this line: “Clearly my thoughts were not all there, this message not ready to completely come out.” I’ve felt this way about a few posts that took a long time to publish. It’s so true that if you’re not feeling it, it’s just not ready. Go to something else, start over, wait a day or two. Inspiration will always strike again.
Christy thanks for relating. When the message is not ready to all come out a simple draft for another day would have saved me lots of hair pulling.
I love that you pushed through and posted anyway!
Thanks Vanessa, once I hit delete this honest post flew out of me.
Yes, I have been here. So much energy and emotion spent are trying to force a thing to work that is just not going to work. When I finally let go, it is always relief I end up feeling, never regret. So, why am I just as stubborn the next time?!
May what a great question. Wonder if I will be stubborn next time as well.
Yes! So many times I’ve tried to make something work that just wasn’t coming together. Probably some of them I SHOULD have deleted!
Kat, knowing I SHOULD hit delete and then actually doing it took hours. It was the frustrated vibes I had begun pounding into the post that helped me want to become free of the whole ugly mess. I was not publishing THAT.
It sounds like the delete key is far more liberating for you than it is for me. I usually archive my stubborn work, knowing that I can come back to it later, if I want to (which I usually don’t). I’ve worked with so many writing students who just want to delete entire paragraphs. I always cry out, “Wait!” before they hit delete, and then I teach them to create their own swipe file of dysfunctional paragraphs and ideas. I’ve been doing this for years. Do I go back to these old clunkers? Almost never. But then I never have to summon the courage to press delete. My students, though, can go spelunking back through their awkward writing and mine fresh ideas for the endless stream of essays their classes require.
Harmony I am intrigued that you never seem to go back to these stubborn pieces of work you collect. I considered leaving it as a draft and then I considered all the bad vibes I had slammed though the keyboard and wanted it all gone. FReeeeeeee
It’s so frustrating when that happens. At least it is for me. Hopefully, I’m getting better at recognizing when it’s not working and I can just stop. Guidance. Have to always wait for the guidance.
Yes that guidance, it somehow is invisible when I call it. Seems to arrive on a whim, maybe that is what makes it so special.
As of this morning I have 42 draft blog posts that I’ve started and never finished. Most of them are random thoughts or ideas I quickly jotted down, but there are one or two I invested a far amount of time in and they just weren’t working or felt too personal. The plan was to go back some day and finish them, but I never do. Perhaps it is time to delete.
42 wowzas, you have quite a collection. Funny thing is no one ever seems to go back and publics these abandoned drafts. Maybe those thoughts, those moments have passed and deleting makes room for new thoughts. If you delete let me know how it feels, I was liberated not to have those misshaped sentences staring back at me anymore strangling my thought process.
I’m loving the fact that you write with pen and paper. I am a self-admitted paper junkie so I really like that purple pen and what cool scalloped edges on your journal. So funny about taking a shower and coming back to it. I do this all the time! Always better to do this than put something out there you don’t love.
Barb I am a journal junkie, I always have a few on the go and I love colourful pens as well.