The language we use,
Both inside and out.
A quick change of words,
Can turn things about.
The shoulds and the need to’s,
The have to’s and musts.
It often feels like,
We want to combust.
I need to do this,
I cannot refuse.
I should be like this,
Are all subtle clues.
Of rules that you live by,
The ones you create.
Setting you up,
For a life you may hate.
I must not get angry,
Good Mums don’t yell.
The bar is set high,
No wonder you fell.
It is just how things are.
It is not meant for me.
This is how my life is,
It is not my fault, you see.
And on, and on it goes,
Never screams no.
Impossible slams doors,
On possibilities you will never know.
There is still a choice,
Although hard to see.
Using language like this,
Strangles possibility.
Get back the choice,
The chance to be free.
Open up space,
For who you want to be.
Let’s take a sweet moment,
To consider this now.
Pause and reflect,
Switch it up and KAPOW!!
I can’t – Yes you can,
I have to – I choose,
I shouldn’t – I might,
I must – I want to.
I should go to gym,
Feels heavy and hard.
I will take care of myself,
Opens your heart.
I have to cook dinner,
No choice in those words.
I nourish my family,
Sounds glorious when heard.
Now over to you,
Repeat after me.
I am choosing to do this,
And yes I am free.
What word would you like to use less?
Mine is should.
Leave me a note in comments, I adore hearing from you.
That’s a good one! I could stand to use that one a little less too! And just do it instead of thinking that I should. Or know I am not going to, and let that be ok!
The SHOULD loves to sneak in for me Michelle, often when I stop and think about it I either realise I want to and if I don’t then I consider my choices and just like you, be ok! Life can feel very heavy when we ‘have to’, ‘must’ and ‘should’ all the time.
I love the “I nourish my family” over “I have to cook dinner.” What a difference. And it makes me feel differently when I say it aloud, which just shows the power of words and that all of this is a choice.
Tamara I love that one too. A client of mine was finding she felt very frustrated at meal time every night because as she was saying, she had to do it. this subtle shift made all the difference for her and I am delighted sharing it could help you too.
Karen, what a great poem! I love the line about opening up space to be who we are meant to be. Should is such a guilt producing word, I try not to use it. Another one I’m working on letting go of is Just, it minimizes or detracts from my goals, accomplishments etc; Thanks for sharing your poem:)
Nancy, so so true. Should leaves me in a yucky and guilty place. I am going to pay more attention to JUST this week. Words are so powerful.
What a clever reminder of the subtle power of both words and choices. Excellent!
Thanks Heather, we so often forget choice still exists.
Trying to use “But” less often. And subbing it with “and.” Still struggling with it as it’s early days AND I know it’ll become easier.
Kelly this is a good word to use less. I began using BUT a lot less a few years ago, it sounded clunky at first but now I have my groove on with it.
Mine would be ‘have to’
I have to finish this, I have to do that, I have to achieve so and so.
Also ‘and then’. And then I have to this and then I have to that.
All in all a bit too exhausting!
Corlie, it all sounds exhausting. Choosing may use less energy.
Wonderful poem! I think the words that I need to re examine is I need to –
Rebecca, “I need to” pops out of my mouth a lot to. Changing it to “I want to” or “I choose to”can add a whole new feeling to a moment.
There are a ton of words I’m working on using less in my life like can’t and should. I have to keep reminding myself that life is what I make it and if I’m always telling myself what I can’t do or should of done then I’m not going to make much of my life. It’s time to pack those negative words up.
Yes the should’s and can’ts love to limit us. Pack those little nasties away and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
Beautiful! Fun poem, great post. Thank you.
Suzi thanks I had fun writing it too.
Hi Karen
I just shared your “What Kind of Busy Are You” post on Google+, after coming across it on SITS Saturday Sharefest.
This post was the very next post there that caught my eye, and it turned out to be one of yours as well! I am clearly interested in what you have to say!
A good friend of mine used to tell her kids “Park that thought’ (and go a different direction) any time they had a negative thought. Thanks for this good insight as well.
Have a great day
Susan your uplifting comments reaches me today just when I needed it. Thanks for sharing and enjoying what I have to say. I love “park that thought” and will add to my repertoire.
Love this so much. I fall into the the “I need to…” camp so much. I like I am choosing to…. or I want to… . I am glad you you put it back up. Our words need to be heard. They matter.
Kira thanks enormously for sharing your comment and supporting my desire to be heard.