A client called asking for help. Here’s what she said….
“I’m just not getting enough done… I write down my actions for the week, things that’ll move me forward on my dream, just like you said. But I never get enough time and then life takes over and now I feel worse than before. I’m ready to give up on this dream. I told you it was too big for me to want.”
Sadly I hear this all too often. Even worse, I don’t hear about it at all and dreams are allowed to slip away from disgruntled dreamers.
I get it, I’ve been there too. I’ve strangled more than one dream in my lifetime and then walked away from it.
Looking back, I realise I was getting in my own way with impatience and force.
I’d decide to go all in on a long-held dream and I’d set some big goals to get there quick. My expectations would be high and I’d aim to achieve grand progress every single week.
I wasn’t doing anything wrong, in fact it was my ‘out of the blocks’ enthusiasm that blinded me to what was really possible.
Needless to say, I couldn’t sustain those giant leaps and I’d get disheartened.
I’d start comparing myself to others, looking for success stories, and of course it now seemed like everyone else was getting what they want.
I was making my own journey feel hard and heavy. Bit by bit, I was killing my dream.
Expectations and urgency strangle your motivation and drive, and if you start comparing your path to others you only pull the noose tighter.
Dreams are delicate, ideas often fleeting and neither of them thrive under the weight of scrutiny and pressure.
So, here’s my advice…..
Go all in. Have big lofty goals that support exciting dreams. Why? Because we all get to want what we want and we have only one life to live.
Now give your dreams a nourishing environment to thrive, with time and space to grow.
Think of your goals as the stepping-stones, the measuring points along the way that support your dream.
And give your goals some plans, the incremental steps you’ll take along the way.
Always plan with flex. Don’t be so rigid that you have only one way to get there and one view of success.
Your dream may evolve and change as you do. Twists and turns will take you toward opportunities not visible at the beginning.
Stuck for options? Then start with research. It may seem like your sitting still, but well designed and researched plans are the oxygen that’ll sustain you over the longer journey.
Track your progress, celebrate your wins and allow for slow patches. There’ll be times when you’re in flow and you soar, other times you’ll plateau.
The ebb and flow is natural. Slowing down often crucial to restore physical, emotional and spiritual energies before the next surge.
Always be intentional. Rest can be an action if you say so, but never a reason to stop or to quit.
No matter how dedicated and excited you are by your goals, there will be times when you may feel stuck, disheartened and over it.
You won’t always be taking giant leaps, ticking off big weekly actions and creating immediate success.
Worthy goals are nurtured carefully over time. Some of our wildest dreams require years of planning and sustained action to be realised.
Trying to force a dream to life quickly, is like grabbing a seed and trying to pull the tree straight out of it.
If you’ve given up on your dreams this year, I ask you to go back.
Go back and ask yourself these questions:
Do you have goals? A plan? Is it flexible?
Were you trying to go too hard too fast? Strangling your own dream?
Have you celebrated how far you’ve already come? Write down some wins.
Now, choose 3 doable steps this week that’ll get you moving forward.
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