Are you a slave to your own success

I’ve been head down and tushie up all week.  Working in a ‘I’m just loving this’ kind’a way.

But I’ll be honest, this wasn’t always the case. In fact only a few short years ago I was whinging my head off, feeling stuck doing things that I hated.

It didn’t make sense to me… I had what I thought I wanted. My husband owned a successful business, we were financially stable and I was able to help out with admin and book-keeping.

I had it all.  Flexible job, enough money, time with kids and yet I was unhappy.

Book keeping was never my thing and to be honest neither of us loved the business anymore. But we’d worked hard to build it up, it was 20 years of blood, sweat and tears and…well… we couldn’t just let that all go.

So we held on… and the more we held on the more it held us back, until we grew to resent it.

We dreaded going into work and the feeling of ease and freedom we once enjoyed was all gone. Even the simplest requests became a chore and we both felt stuck.

We’d become slaves to upholding our own success. Working to keep a business we didn’t want, to pay for a life that we no longer enjoyed…..  sounds crazy right!

So Why? Because we’d worked hard for everything and the thought of losing it was terrifying.

It was around this time I discovered the Desire Map book.  ‘A guide for creating goals with soul‘ the cover said.   Goals plus soul….I was in.

I read the book in a weekend and completed the exercises in the back. I soon discovered that I wanted to feel Valuable, Nimble, True and Connected and that I didn’t just want flexi hours and a new car.

And so began my transformation toward a feel good life…   The life I lead today.

Since then I’ve helped countless women unblock their joy and find new ways to define their success using the Desire Map process.

Now let me be clear.  Not everyone needs a major life-change to find a way to love what they do.

Take Tina for example.  She came to one of my group workshops determined to stay in her job but knowing she couldn’t keep going the way she was.

She had an amazing career and was fiercely protective of it.  She didn’t say no often, and had built a reputation on being everything to everyone.  She liked being known as the go-to-girl ,even though this meant she was answering emails late into the night.

But working without boundaries meant she was exhausted and struggling to keep up with the demands coming in all directions.

“I don’t know whats’ wrong with me,” she declared.  “It used to feel good when I landed a new client or was offered a new project but now I dread the extra responsibility.”

The job she once loved had become a stress filled cage.

And Tina had become a slave to her own success. “Oh but I have to do this….. They need me to do that….. I’m always expected to finish……” she’d say.  “I dread what’ll happen if I don’t…..”

Instead of feeling free and abundant in her well paid senior role, she felt trapped protecting a huge burden… her reputation and success.

By the end of the workshop Tina knew exactly how she wanted to feel and was making a list of changes she could make Monday to start feeling this way.

She had the clarity she needed to make choices that would support her career and feel good too.

So if the grind is wearing you down and success has become your master….stop and get back to what’s important.

To who you care about, to what you hold sacred and to redefining what success FEELS like for you.

Because that’s the whole point…  FEELING GOOD!