I like organisation.
No it is stronger than that, I LOVE TO BE ORGANISED!
Anyone who knows me well also knows routine, structure and organisation hang out with me on a regular basis.
We are all great friends, most of the time. We get along, we compliment each other, we are the 1+1=3 equation at work.
So what is the problem? Well the truth is, and this is hard to say, we don’t always play well with others. You see spontaneity and adventure often clash with routine and structure.
I love to play with everyone. Yes I have my favourites, the gang I feel safe with, but I also love to inject a spark of adventure into my life.
Every now and then I feel an overwhelming desire to break ranks, yes I want to fall out of line with my usual gang.
The urge kicks in to rebel, throw the cat amongst the pigeons, do something wildly unexpected.
Now before you get too excited in anticipation of eye bulging photos of me hanging by my ankles from a bungee rope, I am talking about everyday escapades that break my own rules. Mini rebelliousness that leaves no blemish and yet adds a little zest to my world.
I imagine my house becoming disorderly, shoes piled up at the door, washing baskets overflowing, dishes piled up in the sink, rinsed of course. I am sitting in amongst this chaos blissfully writing, taking photos or painting. I am happy, the housework will wait, dinner can be eggs on toast or takeaway, I am living with wild abandon.
I try it even, I let things go, indulge in an afternoon of creativity at the expense of organisation, I leave the beds unmade, NOOO WAAAY !!
I am actually happy for a while, carefree, kids stay up late, waiting for me to make dinner and organise baths.
I then go all out, I begin staying up very late, night after night creating. I can do this I am carefree, on an adventure in my own backyard.
Then reality catches me, she has routine, structure and organisation hot on her heels. I plummet back to earth, and hit it hard.
My day is now frazzled, frantic, clumsy, hot-headed and overwhelmed. Lacing it all together is guilt.
All I now see is a mess I cannot work in, live in or create in. I want to crawl on hands and knees from one end of the house to the other cleaning and fixing my wrongs. Punishing my carefree indulgence.
Sounds Crazy? Sounds normal?
This is my glorious walk along the tightrope of life. Leaning between Rigid and Rebel, aiming for the sweet spot. Lean too far either way, push too hard and travel too fast and I plummet. Falling down to the net of reality before bouncing back up, crazy frustrated and out of sorts. There are many times too when I navigate the rope happily, for weeks days and months, pushing boundaries and knowing when to pull back just in time.
Each and every one of us has our own teams of Rigid and Rebel, pushing and pulling us. Keeping us on the strongest path to happiness.
So tell me do you often Rebel, or is it Rigid you need more of? How do you maintain your equilibrium?
So wonderful to read words and expressions put together with such truth. Loved it…as I am constantly struggling with this I laughed as I read…and quite often I let beds be unmade and work pile up after days of creativity but only to then find myself having to put in some serious overtime without pay!!! Oh the balance..thanks Karen for your words xx
Thanks Karen, yes that housework never leaves when creativity enters. Keeps life interesting thats’ for sure.
Oh, I can so totally relate to you. We must be kindred spirits. Breaking out for me is leaving beds unmade and dishes undone. I left the ironing go for a couple of weeks, and last weekend I spent 3 1/2 hours catching up. Not sure what the solution is, but I don’t think I can change how I am wired!
Nerissa yes it is how we are wired, yet the break out can be liberating. The trick for me is to not break out for too long or go too far.
I love it: rigid vs rebel! I’d describe myself as more rigid in that I’m a rule follower but a girl’s gotta rebel sometimes, too!
PS I’m sending you a nomination for the Sunshine Award in a post tonight. Hope you have fun with it!
Mo it seems we have a few Rigids amongst us, we can rebel together some time. The Sunshine Award I am intrigued
I hear ya. I have a healthy dose of rebel in me, but in my case, I call it my rebel without a clue! I never follow speed limits, follow doctor’s orders, show up on time, or take advice well. I would love to, but it just isn’t in me to do so. I always have to add my own twist to it or do it in my own way. I’m always envious of people who remember to water plants (mine are all dead or dying), rotate their tires, defrost things in the morning for dinner (who thinks of chicken at 7 am?), but I guess I have to be who I am meant to be. And really I manage quite well in life – well, except for those poor plants! #SITSharefest
Adrian, Rebel without a Clue. Embrace that rebel and let the quiet rigid have a turn now and then, who knows the plants may like it.
I have this battle all the time….but my Rebel side is the bigger bully. Soon the Rigid side will do her share of the work so Rebel side can feel less guilt. (Decluttering and organizing has been a big monster.) 🙂
Dai, funny how we know our Rebel and our Rigid, lose the guilt we need them both.
You speak my language. I tend to love organization, but I also rebel and like spontaneity. I am a two-in-one paradox, I guess. There is beauty in both and an extreme of either is prob not good. At work, I tend to be more of the rigid b/c that’s how you get things done. At home, I savor the rebel. It’s the artist in me. Love this post! So inspiring & real.
A bit of rebel and a bit of rigid, awesome way to be