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When you feel ready to complain, try this instead

September 8, 2014 By Karen Main 9 Comments

I bumped into a friend at the shops, I greeted her with my big ‘showtime’ smile as I attempted to restrain my complaining whine.

I politely listened to her, all the while itching to dive into the conversation with my current ‘whoaaaaa is me’ routine.

I could feel it rising, then whoosh, out it came like a tidal wave, decimating all the joy, happiness and lighthearted banter we would usually share.

You see I have had my complain on a lot lately, it has been building momentum for several months.  What started out as a small, niggly issue slowly became a ginormous hole in my pool of bliss, leaking cheer out of my life at an ever-increasing rate.

It became easy to complain,  I would find a sympathetic ear and splay out all my problems.

They felt sorry for me, I felt sorry for me and I would wander off and prepare to hit repeat and do it all again.

The whingey whine in full swing, had become as much a habit as a choice.

It had become easier to keep complaining than to actually tackle my problem.

My complaining had turned me into a victim and my inaction was keeping me stuck.  Ever so slowly I was sinking deeper and deeper into the well of muck.

The passivity so heavy it was weighing me down as I stubbornly dragged my sack of complaints with me each day.

It was a feeling I did not enjoy and I knew the only way out was to embrace choice and take action, any action.

Maya Angelou Quote

Finally I had had enough, I grabbed my journal and I wrote every single whinge, whine and complaint down. I let it all hang out.

I then wrote across the top of a clean fresh page So Karen, what can you do about that? and then I wrote with wild crazy abandon, capturing every possible idea to pull me out of this muck.

Oh yeah I went nuts, this was now a big, chunky problem and it would need some big kahoonas to get out of.

On by one I am now researching, exploring and checking off all the potential solutions and I am taking action.

There are times when the complaining still seems easier.  To sit back and ‘whoaaa me’ with no possibility of change, and yet I know I have a choice, we always have a choice.

This is our one amazing life and our greatest choice is to Live it Fabulously.

So tell me have you ever got stuck in the muck?  How do you get out?

Signature large photo Signaturelarge_zps82b3ad36.png

Filed Under: Feeling Fabulous, Time to reflect, What matters most Tagged With: bliss, emotion, Fabulous, Growth, happiness, ideas

Comments

  1. Tricia says

    September 8, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Yes, I needed this today. I’ve been complaining so much. I love this idea, of just writing out all the ways I can attack the problem that go so far beyond complaining that I just might end up at a solution.

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      September 10, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      Tricia writing is such a therapeutic action I use it a lot to unstick myself. I am always so delighted when you pop by.

      Reply
  2. Kelly L McKenzie says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:21 am

    I like your idea of purging through writing and calling yourself to action. I’m going try it next time. I tend to simmer, stew and then parboil. Not good. Doesn’t happen often thankfully. However I think it would help me deal with issues quicker if I made myself sit down and confront them through writing. Thanks Karen for yet another worthy nudge!

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      September 10, 2014 at 10:16 pm

      Kellie I am fortunate I don’t get caught in the whingey whiners too often, but when I do wowzie am I on it. As Mo said, a journal can be like a therapy couch.

      Reply
  3. corlie says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:06 am

    I’ve definitely done this, and still do sometimes. But it does get to be a horrible pattern and it sucks all the other nice things out of the days. Pete is really good at helping me re-focus, and I try remember how much I hate it when people complain to me so I try not to complain to them anymore.

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      September 10, 2014 at 10:14 pm

      Corlie, your Pete sounds wonderful life my Roy. The complaining is no fun is it???

      Reply
  4. Mo at Mocadeaux says

    September 10, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    Writing my thoughts down has helped me whenever I’ve been in a disagreement with someone else. I use that to vent my feelings so I don’t verbalize something that I will later regret. I’ve never thought about using that technique when I’m having an argument with myself. The journal as a therapy couch. Brilliant!!

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      September 10, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Oh Mo, the self argument is a doozie and yes it often plays out in my journal/therapy couch

      Reply
  5. K. Elizabeth says

    September 15, 2014 at 3:32 am

    I am getting to place now where instead of complaining, I’m taking action. Sure complaining helps me to feel better a little bit, but that relief is only temporary if I don’t take action to make better the things that I can.

    Reply

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Meet Karen

Karen Main is a Life Leadership Coach for people who are ready to make a change in their lives.
Through her coaching, workshops and speaking gigs she’s here to help you design a life you love — while making it all feel like a celebration.
And when she’s not working, you can find her indulging in a long walk with the dog, laughing with her kids or at her favourite yoga class Read More…

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