Many years ago, back when my kids were littlies, an outing to meet a few friends at the park could be the highlight of my week.
After a morning of playdough and Duplo I’d be craving the company of some over 20ies and ‘park dates’ for me were more than a chance to get out of the house and grab a cuppa. It was time for me to be with some grown ups, knowing the kids were getting some social time of their own.
But so often I’d end up on my own, dutifully (and if I’m honest resentfully), pushing my kids on the swing instead.
I didn’t go there to push them on the swing. That wasn’t my intention. I wanted to say no, but I worried what people would think, and what sort of Mum I was saying no to pushing my own kids.
So while the Mummy guilt got the better of me I’d push… and then when frustration took over I’d tell them to go play, and you guessed it, the guilt then came back.
Instead of skipping home filled with social delight I was often closer to dismay and tears.
Looking back, I know now I was being guided by guilt and frustration, instead of honouring my desires and aligning my actions with my intention.
I wanted a break, to fill my soul with friendship and to enjoy adult conversation… and that’s ok.
I didn’t need to deny myself that to be a good Mum.
Knowing and owning why we do things is as important as what we do.
If you’re joining a book club to make friends, then say so. It’s a wonderful reason.
If you’re making the bed each day to accomplish one thing before leaving the house, then admire your work.
If you’re on a date night to connect with the one you love, ditch the phone and be with them.
If you’re working part-time so you can be there after school then don’t open your laptop after 3.30pm.
If you don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing I encourage you to find out.
Intentions give value to what we do, so get to know yours.
Why do you work (other than for money). Is it for independence, security, achievement, the annual holiday with family?
Know your why and declare it.
Why do you cook dinner, go to gym, sleep in on Sundays? Is it to nourish, nurture and refuel your body?
Know your why and celebrate your actions.
Don’t deny your yearnings or say no to your desires. Instead set intentions that support more of what you want.
Small intentions throughout your day…. moments when you say yes to you.
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