Our self talk, the endless conversations we have with ourselves each and everyday.
The reminders; I mustn’t forget to pick up the milk.
The observations; Wow, that is beautiful.
The encouragement; You can do this, yes you can, you know you can.
The challenges; That is so amazing I am going to have a go at that.
The rehearsals; When I get there I am going to say ………
The replays; I can’t believe I said that, why didn’t I say…….
The planning; What am I going to cook for dinner again?
The self Loathing; You are not good enough, you say too much, you get it wrong, they don’t like you, you messed up.
On and on it goes everyday, constant chatter shaping our experiences and driving our attention.
Powerful conversations we can use to destroy and restrict ourselves or we can use to create optimism and joy.
It all begins when we wake up in the morning, those first few words we mutter to ourselves, setting the scene for the day ahead.
I didn’t get enough sleep I am going to be tired.
or
That was a rough sleep I will need to be kind to myself today and plan for an early night.
Then throughout the day……..
I have got too much to do, I will never get it all done.
or
I am going to highlight my 3 priorities today and feel happy when they are done.
I am fat.
or
I feel better when I make a healthier food choices.
I am so tired and I never stop.
or
I am going to take 5 minutes today to sit and slowly savour my morning coffee.
I am not getting anything done.
or
Things are taking longer than I thought today, I will shift some less important tasks to tomorrow.
I hate cooking dinner
or
I love nourishing myself and my family with home cooked meals.
I haven’t been to gym again I am so lazy.
or
I am going to schedule one gym class to look forward to this week, l feel amazing when I go.
So often this chatter goes on without us realising, we spiral into pits of despair and then continue to beat ourselves up with more toxic language.
Take a moment today and really listen to how you are speaking to yourself. Would you speak to anyone else that way?
Start your day well, use those magical early morning moments as you lie in bed to offer yourself kindness and enthusiasm.
Become your own best friend and cheerleader. It will change your day and your life.
Flip those ugly sentences around and imagine you are speaking with a much-loved friend, now what would you say?
Write it down and begin to regularly practice positive self talk.
Practice makes progress so let’s start right here and now. Share with me in comments what you plan to say to yourself as you wake up tomorrow.
Karen this is just the post i needed today! I woke up grumpy because I didnt sleep enough and am cross now because my to do list is looking pitifully non- crossed off!
I will change that to your suggestions to be kind to myself because I am tired, and will instead be glad for the two tasks that did get crossed off.
Thank you for this!
Corlie your comment is just what I needed too. Here’s to not being grumpy.
Oh my goodness, how true is this?! Thank you for the reminder Karen…there are days I feel so overwhelmed and I need to heed your advice.
Yes kind self talk Michelle, it will change your day.
I love the idea of speaking to myself as I speak to others! No, I would never call someone fat or tell them they’re going to be tired all day! I would tell them that lack of sleep is tough but that drinking water, getting fresh air and playing with you kids can give you back your energy.
Thanks for this!
Tamara I know it is a great way to think about it. So true we would never speak so harshly to anyone else.
Yes! I have lately made a point of greeting my dog every morning first thing with a “Morning Poppy!” She is always in a good mood and her wagging tail is a constant. She gets me off on the right foot.
I talk to myself more than I care to admit. Caught myself doing it again this morning. It was miserable out yet I had to take Poppy out for a walk. She was home alone for 12 hours yesterday and I was feeling more than guilty. Anywho, found myself muttering 1/2 way into the soaking and chilly walk “Isn’t this delightful? Aren’t I lucky to be out and about splashing into puddles?” Thankfully nobody heard. Have no idea when I started to do this but it does work for me. As long as nobody else hears … Of course it would be ok if family or friends overheard – they are used to me!
I would listen to you all day Kelly you are so funny and uplifting.
This is an area I really need to work on! Thank you for sharing the examples – my goal today is to give it a try!
Emma enjoy speaking kindly to yourself today.
{Melinda} How we talk to ourselves is so important. Each day, I try to remember I am a valuable and powerful child of God and what He says about me is truth. Period. And He says I am valuable, redeemed and deeply loved. When I operate out of those truths, I am so much more at peace and productive. 🙂
Found you through the SITS Linkup!
Melinda what a wonderful message to remind yourself of daily.
Such a powerful post! One I think many, if not most, people can relate to. I am constantly struggling to change my thoughts to more positive ones, a challenge I’ve been working on for years but it gets easier all the time. 🙂
Cole switching over to more positive self talk does take lots of practice and yes it does get easier over time.
What a wonderful post….and so true. I work very hard these days at turning those negative thoughts and conversations around….just as you suggest….and it makes a huge difference in my day! Plus it is nice to know I’m not the only one having conversations with myself!
Debbie, I am sure we are all having lots of talks with ourselves, why not make them happy ones too. It does make a huge difference to our day.
Very wise words! The way we speak to ourselves will overflow into every corner of our lives!
Thanks Ann, yes our self talk does flow into every corner of our lives so I plan to make it positive.
Thanks for these good reminders, Karen. It sounds like our self-loathing gremlins are singing the same refrain: “You talk too much!” I hear that one in my head all the time. *Sigh!* I like to respond with a moment to consider what I’d just been saying, and then a conscious choice to continue speaking up.
Harmony I like this, yes making a conscious choice to continue speaking up is so much nicer.
Karen, I was stumped at first when you asked about first-comment-in-the-morning because consistent sleep has been challenging . . . but then I remembered part of my cancer journey mantra: “I am Radiantly Healthy!” I’m glad I have repeated it so often that I have this as a default sentence. I remember it some of the time. 🙂
Janet what a beautiful healing mantra to start your day with. Thanks for your openly sharing.
Thanks, Karen. I’ve been muttering to myself for the last few hours about how hard it is going to be to drive in San Francisco when I get there, in particular the hills with my stick shift cars. Truth is, I don’t even know that there is a hill where my hotel is. 🙂 Changed to: I arrive at my hotel easily and safely. Thank you!
Linda that is so funny now you have taken a moment to reconsider, worrying about something that may not even exist. Safe travels.
I begin every day by asking myself, “What adventure can I have today?”
Every day is an adventure. I move as I do a systems check: feet – check; legs – check; back – check; hands – check; arms – check; shoulders – check; neck – check; head – check; yawn – check; deep breath – check; open eyes – check. Thank you, thank you, thank you! gratitude – check.
I listen to hear if my husband is up and I roll out of bed anticipating adventure! 🙂 It makes my whole day just that much more enjoyable.
I look for FUN, make a game out of turning things around to get the most enjoyment and ease from them and LOVE my life!!! ♥ … really… ♥ Much love, blessings and peace to you! ♥
Jean I love thinking of every morning as the beginning of an adventure. This is fabulous thank you for sharing.