I posted this picture last week as part of my photo day challenge.
The theme was “Something I Have Learned” and for me that is to never give up.
Over the years I have learnt, and believe, that rewards, the big fat juicy ones, come when we push ourselves beyond the urge to give up. I wrote last week about rejoicing in the resistance, the icky feeling that comes as we push further beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone.
A fellow Photoaday member challenged my message, to never give up. Here is what she wrote.
I used to believe the same thing when I was a PT. I lived by the motto ‘never give up’. Then I got so sick with chronic fatigue, became bed bound and my only option was to give up. I physically couldn’t do anything else. I learned that giving up is good for our health. The constant holding on and pushing ourselves in an already fast paced ‘no give up’ world is dangerous for our health. Give up, surrender now and then. It’s good for the soul.
This was my answer
I do agree with you. We often mistake never giving up with slogging down a path that no longer serves us and is leading to destruction. The desire to be fit and healthy is something I never give up on, that does not mean exercising to exhaustion, it is valuing rest and recuperation as part of the overall package. It does not sound like you gave up, it sounds like you have found a more effective, sustainable path to health and wellness.
I truly hope you are feeling much better now. – Karen Main
I wonder how often we fear giving up on the activity will mean giving up on the desire. Do we create more harm by forcing rather than switching?
Is there a time to stop what you are doing? Yes of course. It is foolish to continue to do anything that is causing harm, unhappiness and is leaving you unfulfilled.
Does that mean you are giving up? No, that is up to you.
Go back and revisit the initial desire, the feeling you were after, the goal that you set.
You started a particular diet to lose weight and you now feel fatigued and bloated. Explore more diets and alternative ways to lose weight. Quit this diet not the desire to be healthy.
You want a pay increase and more responsibility. Your boss is holding you back, turning you down. Look to other areas of the business, even look outside your company. Give up on your boss as the only way up, not the career you now dream of.
You want to improve your endurance and begin training for a marathon. You are plagued by knee injury leaving you miserable and demotivated. Consider taking up bike riding or swimming. Give up on the activity not the desire to improve your endurance.
The message is simple, Never, Never, Never Give Up on achieving all that you desire and don’t mistake it for slogging down a path of destruction.
What do you think? Is there a time to give up?
“Never give up” is one of those sayings that I just don’t include in my affirmations anymore because it leads me down false paths. Those paths whisper “quitter,” “sissy,” and other not-so-nice things. I am a firm believer in letting go, surrender and often, retreat. I am also a firm believer in holding fast to dreams. Maybe it’s semantics? But for me, these other sayings work much better, without the stress of never giving up.
However, that’s me. What’s wonderful about all of this is that each of us discovers what works best for us.
Linda as in life many things are not a one size fits all. I love how you recognised this saying leads you down false paths and you have found sayings that work much better for you. Thank you enormously for honestly sharing your thoughts.
This is exactly where I am right now. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends as I pull my online business together. Two weeks ago I realized I needed to pull back and focus on some self-care, mainly sleep, meditation, eating right. The first week was difficult, my mind and body were so used to racing unchecked. Now I’m enjoying those solid eight hours of sleep, enjoying the calm-steady-solid knowing that everything is coming together in it’s own time, knowing that when I do launch I’ll be doing it in the way that’s right for me.
I used to take exception to the “never give up” saying, too. I have also worked myself so hard, and so fruitlessly, that I ended up very sick. Now I realize that there is a difference between giving up and giving in. I had to give in to the needs of my body, the needs of my soul. I didn’t give up or quit — I gave in to the reality of my own experience, and found out that I really did want to let things go.
Harmony our bodies are so wise and we will perform at out best when we do listen to what our body needs. Sounds like you have found a way to let go and not give up.
Great message here. I’m always beating myself up over being a “chronic quitter” because I start so many projects and stop halfway for one reason or another. It’s only recently that I’ve come to embrace the idea that it wasn’t quitting so much as adapting my journey to where I was in the moment. We have to be flexible to the changes that happen in our hearts and minds. Circumstances play a role too. And the biggest lesson is to tell ourselves that its OKAY to change our minds and change our course with it. That’s all part of never letting go because it’s all leading us to where we’re meant to be.
Wow, really loving this post today. Totally resonated with where I’m at right now. Big thank you to SITSGIrls for leading me here. 🙂 Thank you and hope you have a wonderful weekend!
So true Maribel. Life it so much better when we are flexible, adaptive and totally okay with changing our minds.
Have a fabulous weekend too.
A lot of times we don’t need to “give up” as much as maybe revise our plan. I often set goals or have desires that aren’t realistic and I don’t realize it until I get started. So once I get started and have a better idea of what I’m doing, I frequently revise my plan rather than giving up.
Visiting from SITS.
Patty I like that, revise the plan.
This is SUCH a great post. I was confused and angered by the “never give up” message for so long – believing (as you wrote about) that it meant that I was supposed to push through and continue something that simply was not working, and doing anything else but that would mean I was ” a quitter” (horrible!!). After a while I started redefining the premise I had for what I was doing. You can leave a job BECAUSE you were determined not to give up on your belief that your career should serve your happiness and strengths, and serve the happiness of others. So by leaving your job, you were “never giving up” on the desire to have a positive impact on society. Or by giving up your picture of what your family should ideally look like/be like, you were remaining true to your goal of acceptance and love.
I tell my friends that “you’re not a quitter” self-talk has probably kept people in terrible situations more often than we know.
Thanks so much for posting this!
Emma I too was confused by the “never give up” message and there were times when my self talk held me back. Thanks for your awesome comment.
You really put this in a great way! So many people latch on to one idea for success and often forget there is always more than one way! Great examples, as well!
Thanks Cole and I agree there is always more than one way.