It was Sunday morning, I made a fresh pot of tea, the washing machine was whirring and the fire was blazing. I snuggled on the couch in my Pjs and began the detailed read of the children’s half-year school reports.
Eventually I headed up for a quick shower, leaving both reports sitting on the bench.
As I stood, with water cascading down, my Mumma heart swelled with pride as I recounted the glorious results and comments. Simultaneously my mind moving into top gear, conjuring up ways to begin addressing my areas of concern.
Maybe we will have times table races before dinner, we could play more maths games and the kids could write out my shopping list to practice more handwriting?????
As I wandered back down to the kitchen I noticed both kids were now reading their reports. Careful not to disturb this moment I quietly folded the washing nearby.
I was noticing their facial expressions change as they carefully considered the feedback in the report. All of a sudden little comments began to bubble forth from each of them.
I am good at that. I remember doing that. I loved this. I want to get better at that.
It all became very obvious, this is their feedback, their wins to celebrate and their opportunities to improve with action. Not mine.
I began to ask questions. Opening them up to more solutions, without thrusting my ideas in or preaching what to do.
We talked about what they had done well this semester, what was working and we celebrated this.
We then discussed what they could improve, where they could do better.
Bit by bit, moment by moment, question after question it all came together.
Even at the early ages of 9 and 7 they were both more aware of their opportunities for improvement than I was. And with my support and powerful questioning they were able to create a list of 3 individual goals for the coming term.
As the momentum continued they came up with their own fun ways to action their goals and finally we discussed how they would measure their results.
As they wrote and decorated lists to laminate and stick on the fridge, I reflected on the experience and the value in debriefing our results to improve performance.
Instead of tumbling forth and doing the same ole’ thing. Following that well worn path even when it takes you the long way round. When you feel that little nudge or hear the little voice whispering you can do better, take a moment.
Ask yourself these 3 questions, forge a new path and set forth with renewed vigour and clarity.
What are you doing well? High fives and keep on doing this.
What is not working so well?
What could you do differently?
This is your one beautiful life and no one else knows what you are capable of more than you.
Lets kick Yesterdays butt with a more Fabulous Today.
Make a commitment and leave me a comment.
Briefly tell me one thing you do well and will continue to do and one thing you will do differently.
I love this so much. And I was struck by the part about their successes being their own and not yours.
With Scarlet at nearly five and Des at newly two, I realize that I can take some credit for their looks and personalities..some.. but Scarlet is about to be school-age. There are so many things about hers that are hers alone. And she gets to own them.
I’m good at photographing families – I think I have a way about it. I’m not good at the other stuff – sales/marketing/billing. I will do it differently. I have to.
Tamara wow Scarlet is about to be ready for school, the beginning of a new and exciting chapter for your family. As the kids grow it becomes more and more evident how separate from me they are. unique and wonderful beings with their very own set of talents, desires and level of determination. Their success is just that, THEIRS. Thrilled as always to know you popped by.
I love this! My kids aren’t in school yet, but we do ‘school’ at home (learning letters and such) – I’ll have to start using these questions for both that and in my own life.
Kim I have used these questions to debrief everything from work events to kids parties and of course those moments when I have stumbled off my path. I am always delighted when you stop by.
I love everything about this story – the approach you took with your two and the way you let it inspire you (and us!). As I type right now I have way too many commitments that I want to make, and I think that is often my problem. So I think that writing is what I do well and I will continue to do it. And bravely picking one or two ways/places to do it and sticking to those resolutely is what I will do differently.
Tricia, Yes Yes Yes writing is what you do well and I am so thrilled to read on your recent post that you have made the courageous decision to go all in with your talent. You are brave and you are talented, trust this.
I’ve been trying to forge a new path….not easy, but so worth doing! Great post!
Debbie, one foot in front of the other. Cheering you on.
I love the balance of looking at what’s working and what isn’t working and then moving forward into action. Great suggestions! Thank you.
Michele, we want to continue to build on what is working well as well as tackle the not so well. Yes a balanced approach.
Beautiful post! One thing that I do really well is strategic planning… yet I’ve been failing to do this well for my new blog. I have to-do lists and weekly goals, but I haven’t created an overall mission or long term plan. Thank you for the inspiration to sit down, reflect, and help me see what I really need to be working on!
Farrah a new blog is overwhelming, trust those instincts to take some time to check in with where you are heading in the longer term. I wish you every success.