The day has come.
I began preparing for this almost 9 years ago.
I stood there gazing at the sea of baggage surrounding us as parents and children arrived.
Girls were giggling as cameras clicked and flashed. The Mums and Dads stood back, and yet stayed close, a delicate balance. For many of us this was our child’s first camp.
I had one of those out of body experiences. I could see conflicting emotions on many of the faces around me. A Mum standing quietly on her own. A nervous smile here and excited chatter there. Anxiety and delight all tumbled in together.
I felt comfortably at ease. Mentally untying the apron strings, I usually have knotted so tight.
The atmosphere was electric as everyone made their way to the bus. Hugs and kisses were exchanged as the kids clambered aboard. The bus then slowly pulled away from the kerb with children madly waving from the windows aa a few parents wiped away their tears.
Someone asked, how are you feeling? You ok? Was it wrong to say yes, I’m ok? Should I be sad? Should I be happy? Should I be relieved?
Should, should, should had no place here.
I headed back to my car and decided to let go of all my expectations. The ones I placed upon myself the day she was born. The day when just leaving her alone to sleep in another room was a struggle, and the idea of going to camp was unthinkable.
My present day heart had evolved, it was filled with enormous pride. A pride so rich it oozes from my pores.
I’m ridiculously proud of my 9 year journey with this gorgeous and incredible girl, I am blessed to call my daughter.
She was ready, I was ready, we were ready.
Of course we’d packed and labelled and repacked and double checked the list. She was physically ready.
But more importantly she was independent and emotionally ready, and that preparation had taken us every one of those 3258 days since she was born.
She’s ready to take care of herself, to bathe, to decide on food at a buffet, to cut up and eat that food, to brush and tie her hair (I hope), to manager her belongings, to settle herself at night, to make more decisions, to clean up after herself.
She’s ready to step up and I’m ready to step back.
The ease I feel today at letting her go is the knowing that this is a natural progression for us both. An experience to be celebrated and applauded.
Today my daughter has gone to camp, her first camp and this is my first camp as “The Mum”and we are ok, very ok.
How have you felt when your child left for their first camp? I would love to hear your stories.
Always finding some Fabulous
Yours Karen xx
Beautifully written. I loved reading this. I am sure she is having an absolute ball, it is a fantastic camp. Before you know it she will be back. You have yourself a great kid!
Thanks for your kind words Brooke, I am delighted to know you read and enjoyed this. I am sure you have seen plenty of those mixed emotions as kids head off to camp
Congrats Mum! YOU are the reason your daughter is prepared. You did good 🙂
Thanks Tressie, this Mummy thing is a bigger than I thought
Oh wow!! You and I are both going through the same thing…letting our children go off into the big, big world without us. I’m happy that I look to you for inspiration in this department…but I have a feeling, no matter how old our children grown, letting them go doesn’t get an easier, even though we know they’re gonna have a blast and have so much fun. it’s amazing what our littles can teach us mamas! i know for, lots of trust, faith, confidence and living fearlessly!! 🙂
I know Renee when I read your post I was Wow Wow Wow too. Parallel moments.
Your daughter will have a blast! And I’m sure she is thankful that you see her as capable of navigating this on her own. Sort of test driving her independence!
When I was about your daughter’s age I went to a camp near our home in the mountains of California. When my mom came to pick me up I was covered with dust and dirt and she feared that I had forgotten to bathe for the whole term. The truth was that I had just taken one last horseback ride before packing up to go home and was covered with dust and dirt from the trail. We still laugh about that! Great memory!
Ohh Mo what a lovely dirty dusty memory to have. Camps are the best fun ever.
You probably remember me shed a tear as I waved you off on your adventure. Those tears were a mixture of emotions .i like you was so proud of how independent and confident you had become but a little part of me wanted to hold you tight. I knew you would have a great time but something was missing and that was a learning curve or me also. You should know I am never good at saying goodbyes. So proud of the woman you have become .
Mum I will never tire of hearing how proud you are of me. Thanks
I am used to being one of the teachers on camp with kids away from home for the first time. Enjoyed your perspective Karen. Many parents are eager to wave them off!
Annette as a teacher I am sure you have seen it all.
Beautiful writing, really really love to read it. It makes me tearing.
My kids are 15-22, so first camps were a while ago. A year and a half ago my oldest daughter went to Russia for four month to teach English to small children. Even though she was an adult, it was nerve wracking. She was going somewhere I couldn’t follow to help her should she need it (I don’t have a passport). She had a great experience and might do it again (ugh!). Right now my third daughter is across the country acting as a nanny for her aunt for the summer. She is scheduled to return next weekend. It can’t come soon enough for me.
Yes, these steps are part of growing up. They are wonderful. I am grateful for them. But I sleep better when all of my kids are tucked in their beds under the same roof as me.
I’m glad all went well. I think it’s wonderful to be okay with it. Or not. I think being truthful about our feelings is a gift we give those around us and ourselves. Thanks for sharing your story.
Happy Sharefest. I hope it’s a lovely weekend for you.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your own experiences and insights. Nice to know at 15 and 22 you still sleep better when they are tucked in safe.
Oh, it sounds like you both got through that wonderfully! Being “Team Ready” probably helped you prepare emotionally. I’m an emotional wreck any time a milestone like that happens. Your daughter looks like such a mature girl with her luggage and all. I hope she had a great time at camp.
Happy Saturday Sharefest!
Carla, we can surprise ourselves emotionally I find. So happy you stopped by.
My son was just seven when he went for his first week-long camp. I was pretty nervous, but my boys are outgoing as any kid you’ve ever seen, and this one in particular. Just as I expected, he was off and running with the other kids, and I was barely able to grab him long enough to get a hug before I left. Now he’s 15 and he has spent 5 weeks at Scout camp this summer. I think it’s great that he is so independent and confident in himself now. Thanks for stopping by my blog today.
Wow 5 weeks at Scout camp. It is so wonderful to see their independence emerge. Thanks enormously for stopping by.
Ha! This brought back memories of my own Mom who always seemed so emotional on camp day and I could never understand why. IT WAS CAMP DAY! It was so exciting and there she was tearing up?! What a sweet post. I hope the homecoming is even sweeter.
Jo thanks for sharing your childhood memory, so funny there we are off to camp and Mum is teary. Homecoming was very sweet. Thrilled you stopped by
What an emotional day! Watching them test their wings and fly away from the next even just for a little while can be bittersweet. Loving kids isn’t the hard part. Letting them go to be their own person is!
Yes you are so spot on, the loving is easy, it is letting our kids become individuals and the letting go that is so ridiculously hard. Thanks for the visit