Intimate
adjective
1. Closely acquainted, familiar, close
2. Private and Personal
noun
1. a very close friend
My kids were babies and yet I was the one crawling around. Desperately searching for those almost forgotten high heels, now buried beneath everyday comfort. A quick glance at my dress, hanging carefully on the back of the door, perfect, not too fancy and yet special enough to feel fabulous.
The table for four was confirmed and the babysitter booked. I was ready for a grown up night out. The phone rang, bad news my friends had cancelled. It seemed the night was off.
Or
We could go it alone! Yes just the two of us, me and the love of my life in a now rare moment alone.
We sat and we chatted, I listened, he listened. I noticed his expressions and his body language more. No interruptions I was tuned into him and him into me.
A feeling I had lost, and a desire I would not fully embrace for more years to come, rose up again that night.
We love to socialise and when our children arrived so did the opportunity to meet and make many new and wonderful friends, many of whom have kids the same age. We were a young family and socialising on mass felt so good, including our kids and new friends meant group invites became the norm. Coffees with the Mums, outings with the kids, couples dinners, picnics, barbecues and Dad’s nights out.
I have oodles of fun and adore large gatherings with friends and family. I have recently felt that something more was missing.
The other morning I noticed my friend as we both dropped the kids at school. “Any chance of a quick cuppa,” I called out. “Yes please,” she said, “should we invite anyone else?”
The words hung in the air between us.
An instinctive desire took over, and before I thought too much, I replied with a simple no. I felt an urge to spend time with her alone. I see her often and yet in this moment I felt as if I had not truly seen her for ages.
We sat in the cafe and laughed as we ate cake. We could not recall the last time it was just the two of us, no kids, no hubbies and no other friends. In that hour I caught up on an entire year of her life.
A desire for intimate contact began emerging more and more.
The chance came again, the very next day.
A breeze wafted in, cooling us both, I was snuggled so close I could smell her clean hair. She eagerly turned each page, she is nine and it is my turn to listen as she reads. I noticed how long her eyelashes had grown and the new freckles Summer had sprinkled across her nose. Soon the story was finished and the book fell to the floor. Tonight we lay chatting, nothing existed between us, no siblings to compete with, no housework in the way.
An intimate moment between a Mum and a daughter.
My desire held me here and almost begged me for more. Yes intimate that’s it. I want to be more intimate.
Intimacy has been missing from my life.
Moments with those I adore, no phones, laptops or iPads. No interruptions or TV to distract. No one else to focus on except the one person I have chosen to be there with.
Moments when two people mesh their souls together for a brief moment in time.
Today on a day with love in the air I declare my desire to be more intimate with all those I love.
Have a fabulous Valentines Day everyone and may you create a moment to be more intimate with someone you love.
Very nice post. I am afraid technology has replaced a lot of intimacy. What a shame that is. I wish you a beautiful time recapturing it.
Thank you and yes technology somehow snuck in between us. I am setting clear boundaries on its use and this feels great.
I actually just had a moment before, when Cassidy went out shopping and Des was napping, and my daughter snuggled on my lap. And this morning, while two were out playing in the snow, Des crawled into my lap with a book.
Ah, I love it.
Maybe the same with my husband tonight! Well..not him on my lap!
Tamara maybe you can dive into his lap.
great post and so true…I totally agree. Often I think about getting my friends together (who don’t know each other) but then I realized that the bond/connection/talks we have would be altered if other more than just two of us were talking. We so need that intimacy…thanks. Happy Saturday Sharefest
Perfect Valentine’s Day post Karen. It is so easy to get swept along with the large groups of friends, isn’t it? All the while, at the back of your mind you’re aware something is missing. For me, it’s not until I am in the one on one situation that I realize “Of course, this is what I’m missing.” Yes, here’s to more of those intimate situations!
Kelly a great balance of groups and one on one time is what I love too. More intimate this year for me.
This is just beautiful, Karen! I love those stolen one-on-one moments with my loved ones. Just today I rocked my little one back to sleep when she woke up early from her nap. I love the feeling of her warm little body snuggled close to mine. Sigh.
Nicole I still love to watch that moment as the kids drift off to sleep, precious times.
Oh yes Karen. I know what you mean about missing intimacy and wanting to have those one-on-one moments. I love stealing moments like that with my children but I do need to be better about seeking it out from friends and my husband more.
Christine I am the same, I find myself snuggling away with one of the kids and then forget when the last time my hubby had me one on one.