I woke feeling as if the sheets were made out of lead. My head felt foggy, my body ached and I thought the weight of the world was upon me. I was dreading the day, it already felt hard and heavy.
I hadn’t been sleeping well. Tossing and turning every night, worrying myself silly about all the decisions I needed to make. I would lie awake for hours going round and round in my head with options, as I endlessly debated scenarios with myself.
The usual, productive flow of my days had gone, replaced by a stop, start, stop, start jarring that was frustrating me beyond belief.
I was not myself. I was stuck. Bogged down by the weight of my own indecisiveness.
It all started a few weeks earlier with… “Will I? Won’t I? I’ll wait.”
One delayed decision seemed to generate another. “Yes? No? I won’t answer yet.”
Procrastination set in, and soon after I was holding back on everything.
The decisions began piling up, as they do.
Some were significant…. Schools for kids next year, an agent to sell our home, where to buy a new house.
Others were important…. party invitations, work opportunities, dinner requests from friends.
Somehow even the simplest of choices became hard to make…. what to wear, what to cook for dinner, when to go to yoga.
I was a mess and the flow of energy and attention in my life was seriously blocked.
Decision making is how we maintain an effective flow in our lives. Each decision pointing our energy, attention and focus in the direction of our choosing.
But I wasn’t choosing.
So there I lay, flattened by the weight of indecision and overwhelmed at the thought of accumulating anymore.
I knew what needed to be done….
I opened my journal and wrote down every decision I needed to make. I highlighted the ones I could make that day and began deciding… texting, calling and emailing responses as I went. Applications were completed, registrations sent and my calendar began to fill.
Already feeling lighter I began to action the rest of my list, line by line asking myself…. What could I do to move closer to a decision on this? Who could I speak to? Where could I get more information?
More messages and calls went out.
By the end of that week I was flowing down the productivity highway again. My direction was clear and I was feeling both nimble and valuable.
I had renewed my focus and my energy levels were up. Best of all I was waking to greet each day with enthusiasm.
I know it’s tempting to hold back on decisions, to wait and wait until you cannot wait any longer. But why wait? Why hold onto decisions if you have what you need to give an answer?
I get it, sometimes you don’t want to disappoint people, you don’t want to get it wrong, you don’t want to close a door.
But let me ask you… do you really want to carry the weight of indecision with you everyday?
Get into the habit of prompt replies. If it feels good then give it a ‘Heck Yeah’ and commit. If it’s a No, that’s totally cool, say so and go on your way. Need to know more, ask away.
Every decision you pack away for later becomes a burden to carry.
Those unmet expectations, unanswered invitations and ever-growing pile of requests feel harder and heavier the longer you drag them along.
They’ll block life’s productive flow and drain enthusiasm from your days.
Having a path and a direction in life requires decision-making.
So start deciding…

[…] was knocking and I had a choice. I could continue to wallow in my stuckness, pining for what I thought would be easier, or I […]