“You’ve got to be super strong” I chirped in remembering the many times I tried.
“That’s the added frustration,” she announced. “My trainer says I’ve got the strength now, and I know I’m strong. What I don’t have is enough aggression.”
Oh! This made interesting sense to me. I could see my wonderfully strong and peace-loving friend hanging from the bar and not wanting to give it that almighty grrrr!!!! The super human ooomph that would pull every ounce of her dynamic-ness into one explosive action.
An aggressive and also effective action.
“I don’t like being aggressive.” she said.
Our chat continued until we got onto our work and careers, and that’s when things got interesting again.
For a year now she’s been talking about making a BIG decision and taking a career leap.
She’s been in a dead-end role for too long. Working hard to support her boss who only offers her empty promises and gleefully takes centre stage at every opportunity.
And now there’s an opening, one that requires her to make a bold move.
“So what you waiting for?” I had to ask. “Why aren’t you going for it?”
“It feels aggressive,” she said, “I’m not like that.”
That word again, aggressive. That feeling she’s trying so hard to avoid.
That feeling of using all her strength, skill and expertise in one powerful action to get what she wants.
Interesting I thought, how her physical body had revealed this hesitation already.
I thought about my own yoga practice that morning, and the struggles I had with the balance poses.
How each time I lifted one foot from the floor I wobbled and flung my arms around, instead of standing tall and centred like I know I can do.
Today my mind wasn’t still and therefore neither was my body.
Those flailing arms and leg I caught sight of in the mirror were an outward reflection of the inner me.
Our physical self isn’t separate to our mental, emotional and spiritual self. We are one and the same.
Where we struggle, feel discomfort and hold back in one part of ourselves will often be revealed in another.
And vice versa… the strength and resilience we build up mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually will build up our entire life.
That grit and determination you use in the gym can also get you over the line with that big decision.
The patience and stillness you develop in yoga or meditation will also help you be more calm and present as a parent.
The weights you lift, the poses you master, the barriers you run through, the disciplines you develop in your practices all weave their way throughout your entire life.
I can’t help but wonder if conquering those chin ups will give my friend the strength to forward her career.