Karen Main

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Why you should get out of your own way and say NO already.

July 17, 2015 By Karen Main 1 Comment

Pondering

Photo Credit – Melanie VanKuyk

You open the email, another request, another event.

You aren’t interested and feel an instant dread about going.

You check the calendar hoping for a ‘valid’ reason to say no.

You’re available.

You really don’t want to go.

You hold back a reply, the request now hanging in your inbox and torturing your mind.

How could you say no?
What would be a good excuse?  Why do you need an excuse?
Are you just being lazy?
What will you miss out on?  What will the kids miss out on?
Will you be left out in future?  Will you be overlooked?
Will you be frowned upon?
Will you fail?

The ‘good girl’ begins her protest.
It is the right thing to do.
You should go.
You must go.
Everyone else will be there.
We all have to do things we don’t like.
Don’t be selfish.

……and so you say yes.  Again and again.

Yes to the committees, the dinners, the fundraisers, the functions, the concerts, the open days, the pyramid selling parties, the work drinks, the meetings and the housework.

Yes to the kids, the hubby, the family, the in-laws, the school, the sporting clubs, and to work.

And then you say no……

No to that girls weekend away.
No to that meditation class.
No to that course you lust after online.
No to a Sunday morning in bed with a book.

No to YOU.

It is amazing how we can agree to a life that is not of our choosing, and deny ourselves the things we want most.

Allowing something as precious as our time to be stripped away and in doing so sacrificing our energy and enthusiasm.

In a world that’s vying for your time, your attention and your resources, the ability and confidence to say no is crucial.

Take a long look at your list of To Dos and browse your Calendar.

Does what you see light you up?

Are you looking forward to tomorrow, next week and next month?

Are you leading a life that feels good and fulfils you?

No + No + No…….It is time to make a change.

It is time to get clear on what you truly want.

You may want to do less, have earlier nights and read one book a week.

You may want to go to gym regularly, walk the dog more and meditate daily.

You may want to cook and eat dinner with your family each night and enjoy a weekly coffee catch up with a friend.

You may want to start a new hobby, make lots of art and sell your creations on Etsy.

You may want to bake, discover Paleo recipes and only buy organic food.

You may simply want to sit, to pause and to hug your lover.

No time, no energy, then create time and reserve energy.

Guard your calendar and respect your own time.

Learn how to say no politely and then say it.

Those honest NOs will make room for Hell Yeahs!

This may not be easy, I can guarantee it’ll be worth it.

This is YOUR one great life and it is up to YOU to Lead it fabulously.

Signature large photo Signaturelarge_zps82b3ad36.png

Filed Under: Growth and Learning, Less can be More, Outside your Comfort Zone Tagged With: challenge, effectiveness, no

Comments

  1. Mo says

    July 20, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    I am so behind in my blog reading! I’ve really missed your wise words, Karen. “Guard your calendar” should be my new mantra! Thanks for always saying the words I need to hear and for making me stop for a moment of self reflection.

    Reply

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Meet Karen

Karen Main is a Life Leadership Coach for people who are ready to make a change in their lives.
Through her coaching, workshops and speaking gigs she’s here to help you design a life you love — while making it all feel like a celebration.
And when she’s not working, you can find her indulging in a long walk with the dog, laughing with her kids or at her favourite yoga class Read More…

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