Envy – a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck: The Oxford Dictionary
Envious???? Me ??? No, never, nup, no way, Yuck, ewhh, ok maybe a little, sometimes, occasionally, okay, okay yes. This was my instinctive reaction to Danielle La Porte’s prompt this week, asking us to examine our envy.
I love reading her prompts then quietly dwelling on their meanings in my life and how they affect me.
This one had me squirming. Envy, ohh even the word sounds ugly to me.
Envy, do I have envy? I don’t want to. Of course I do, it is a natural human emotion.
Then came the question….. What kind of Success are you envious of?
Once again I denied this emotion, what I saw then as a flaw. A negative, a not nice part of me, the yuck with no good. I justified all of my envious thoughts and feelings as I chatted in my self talky kind of way. I don’t envy success. People work hard for what they achieve, they deserve it, they earn it, it is not my time yet. I am happy for them. Blah blah blah
The truth is I do envy other bloggers, other artists, other writers. I envy how many Facebook or Twitter followers they have? Why a snapshot of a breakfast get hundreds of likes and my painstakingly crafted macro photo of a flower only gets three? Why so many of their images get repinned and liked. How they have so many comments on every blog post?
I envy the size of their audience.
I compare, I despair, I want what they have.
I do envy their success.
Could it be how I use my envy that turns it ugly or into a beautiful life changing force?
Time to listen and deeply feel this raw emotion swirling within. A chance to increase my self-awareness to discover more from the source of my discomfort.
So what is my envy telling me?
Envy tells me to aim higher, to challenge myself, to stretch my wings and soar.
Envy says I am aware, switched on, ready for action.
Envy says I care, I want this, I am invested in the outcome.
Envy says I am alive, interested and ready.
Envy you are the beginning, you send the sparks igniting my passion.
You alert me to what I choose to now seek, aim and strive for.
Envy I now leave you for determination, patience and persistence.
Envy you showed me what I want, now it is up to me to go and work for it.
Envy I denied you, was embarrassed by you and I am sorry.
Envious yes I am and I use this power to now surge forward.
Do you ever deny your envy? What is it telling you?
This is such an interesting and different take on Envy. I never thought to look at it as anything more than negative and a vice I needed to be careful to avoid. Yet i see how it could also be a motivator…yes I want that and because I do I will work harder to get it. Thanks so much for sharing!
Tiffany I avoided it too, take the motivation and use it.
Using the power of Envy for good. As I have grown I have found it liberating to openly say I am envious of others I think it is healthy to be honest about it. We are only human after all. As for blogging I too am finding my blogging feet. Get into other linkies to share the comment love, I think people would love you’re daily doses of positivity.
Try IBOT http://essentiallyjess.com/ibot/
and Flog Yo Blog Friday http://www.withsomegrace.com/fybf-2/.
Thankful Tursdays http://www.aparentinglife.com/2013/10/getting-my-thankful-on.html
Sarah I so agree it was liberating to admit my envy, own it and then find the reason behind it and tun it around for my own greater good. Thanks for the linkies I amy see you over there.
My husband draws a distinction between envy (wanting what others have) and jealousy (not wanting them to have it). I firmly believe that life isn’t a competition. I can look at others – their lives, their successes – for inspiration, and celebrate their happiness without diminishing my own. I can envy you for something without wanting to take it away from you, and just use that to move myself forwards. I enjoyed reading your take on it 🙂
Great distinction Rachel, I tried to deny and avoid envy and yet as you point out we can have envy and celebrate the success of others too. Such an awesome topic to discuss thanks for joining in.
I do deny my envy sometimes. But it keeps rearing its ugly head. And then I remember that only effort and not envy will move me forward.
Mo those feelings often will not leave until they have delivered their message.
I’ll never look at envy quite the same. I especially like how you say, “You alert me to what I choose to now seek, aim and strive for.” True that.
Thanks Nicole, I hid from envy for a long long time. It is liberating and less exhausting to ease into it, hear its message and take positive action.