Karen Main

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Did I just say yes and then hoped they would say no?

October 17, 2013 By Karen Main 11 Comments

Quote Zig Ziglar

I wrote my name down on the volunteers form, then ticked the YES box.

It will be fun, what a great activity.

I am so heavily committed right now, do I really have time?

I included a little note on the side.  My out clause. “If you get enough helpers I am happy to miss out.”

Really, what is with that?????

Did I just say yes and then hoped they would say no?

That was it, The Sign, The Warning Warning……..  I was saying yes out of obligation not out of devotion.

I really wanted to say no.

Today I checked the volunteers list and yes there is my name, they need me, I am in.  Well off course you dill, you ticked yes.

I do still have a choice, I can make up an excuse, hang on I have an excuse, I am busy, I am over committed, I really wanted to say no.

Yes, I can pull out now, I can be a flake.
Or
I can devote and honour my commitment.

Little voice is saying “you are too busy, should have said no, when will you learn.”

As I listen to little voice I know I will show up.  I will show up with a bucketful of resentment if I keep listening.

How do I show up and leave resentment behind, along with frustration and the ever building cranky pants.

Let’s switch it around, let’s set up a challenge.

Let’s frame it like this:

I am going to show up and learn a new skill
I am going to show up and meet someone new
I am going to show up and have fun with creativity
I am going to show up and be proud

I am going to show up with all my enthusiasm, my joy and my creativity.

I am going to leave with a new friend, a new skill and a feeling of Bliss.

I will leave knowing I ditched my frustration, found my devotion and did not flake.

Do you over commit?  Are you a flaker or devoter?

PS.  Next time if I am not all in from the beginning, when I am thinking of the out clause before I begin.  That is the time to say no, and that my friends is okay.

This is day 17 of my 31 Days of Captured Bliss



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Filed Under: Captured Bliss Tagged With: bliss, courage

Comments

  1. Netti says

    October 17, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    I also find it hard to say no. Will wait to hear how your volunteering went. Hope the challenge goes well.

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      October 18, 2013 at 9:09 pm

      Netti I will update you soon.

      Reply
  2. Sarah says

    October 18, 2013 at 12:08 am

    Maybe it was meant to be, you volunteering, more bliss is waiting.

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      October 18, 2013 at 9:08 pm

      Sarah, yes I agree some bliss is about to happen.

      Reply
  3. Michelle says

    October 18, 2013 at 3:11 am

    Oh yes, I am very guilty of overcommitting. I have a problem with saying no. I’m getting better about it though. I feel guilty because often it’s the same people who always help. (I am not putting myself in that category, although I used to be there…my husband is definitely in that category though.) I love your attitude…I wouldn’t back out either at this point. 🙂 Have a great day!

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      October 18, 2013 at 9:08 pm

      Michelle the knowing when to say no is tricky, I have been slowly improving for years.

      Reply
  4. Judy says

    October 19, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I so could have written this post. Totally commit when I really need to say no.. still learning to be comfortable with “no.”

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      October 19, 2013 at 3:21 pm

      Judy, no, such a teeny tiny word and so hard to get out sometimes.

      Reply
  5. Mo at Mocadeaux says

    October 19, 2013 at 8:45 am

    One of the suggested rules to live by that we learned at Bloggy Boot Camp was, “If it’s not a ‘HELL YES!’ then it’s a ‘NO’. I think we all say yes to some things we wish we hadn’t. But I’m with you, once I’ve said yes, I hate to back out. Once I make the commitment, I think I should live up to it with all of my heart!

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      October 19, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      Mo, Bloggy Boot Camp Wisdom I am loving this, a Hell Yes or a No. Easy to remember, now time to do.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 31 Days of Captured Bliss - Karen Main says:
    October 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    […] Bliss in an unfortunate watery mess 15, Read this the next time you are doubting your skills 16. An Unusual flower, a cheeky visitor and a moment of Bliss 17. Did I just say yes and then hoped they would say no 18. I shared something today and it was […]

    Reply

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Meet Karen

Karen Main is a Life Leadership Coach for people who are ready to make a change in their lives.
Through her coaching, workshops and speaking gigs she’s here to help you design a life you love — while making it all feel like a celebration.
And when she’s not working, you can find her indulging in a long walk with the dog, laughing with her kids or at her favourite yoga class Read More…

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