This past year I have been stepping back, holding off and letting go of commitments.
My weekly plans are realistic and rewarding, freeing up time and space for deep reflection and intimate connection.
I have gone deep to explore my desires, discover my unique strengths and I have learnt to listen to my intuitive wise voice within.
I am really getting my groove on…….I know what is important to me and I steer my life towards moments that strengthen and uplift me.
Yet there is still one yucky dance I find hard to resist.
A trap I stumble into that leaves me overcommitted and ultra busy.
I hear the phrase “Someone should organise…….” and I automatically assume the role of someone.
“We should plan to………” and I volunteer to be the we.
This indirect request catches me off guard, time and time again.
Fuelled by my desire to please, and a love of organising, I spring to life and all but take over.
I ignore my achievable, well planned week as I inevitably throw my life into turmoil and overcommit.
As highly capable people we often identify as the willing workhorses.
We can be relied upon to get things started and to see them through.
We pride ourselves on this and seek more of that sense of achievement and acknowledgement.
We know we can get things done, we can make events happen and we can get balls rolling.
We then volunteer without question, without checking in with US.
Others step back as we step up, and once again ‘our dance of busy’ begins.
So how do we resist that urge to over commit?
How do we know when to say YES and when to say NO?
Next time before you agree…..before you volunteer……before you begin organising
Ask yourself 4 simple questions.
1. Why am I doing this?
No one else will……It won’t get done……. it will make someone else happy …….. is not reason enough.
2. Will this help me feel good?
If doing this takes you towards your desires, theres is a “YES this will feel good” then go all out. Take it on knowing that this is for you as well as for others.
3. Do I have the time right now?
Be honest here, if your dance card is full then sit this one out.
4. Can anyone else do this?
It is often easier for others to sit back and let you take on the role. Give others a chance, work together, delegate, share the load.
Dance this one differently and enjoy.
Because this is your one great life and it is up to you to lead it fabulously.
Thank you for your 4 questions Karen. They are perfect. Often I think “I’ll take it on. Who else is going to do it?” That was the case with my becoming registrar at my kids’ swim club. They now have a new registrar who is doing a fabulous job. There’s always someone else who can do the job. It’s ok to say no.