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How my enthusiasm was blocking independence

February 24, 2014 By Karen Main 5 Comments

If you have seen me over the last few days you may have noticed I am breathing rapidly, my eyes are darting all around and I rarely finish a sentence, let alone a thought.

I am forecasting unforeseen events.

I am shopping, washing and tidying.  I  have notes and schedules stuck to every flat surface.

When is library, what sport is on tomorrow, what clothes need to be washed,  have you finished your homework, what do we need for lunches???????

I am in overdrive baby.

I am in a mad state of preparation.

Now before you go imagining I am climbing Mount Everest or living with Gorillas in some far off jungle I will tell you I am doing something hundreds, thousands most likely millions of parents do every day.

Drum roll please ……  I am pursuing my career, I am off to the city to gain a new qualification.  I am leaving early each day this week and coming home late,which means hubby has control of the home ship.

This unnecessary panic at letting go has been a huge wake up call for me.   I did not realise just how close I remain to the action everyday.  How entwined I am in the micro management of the kids school routines and events.

How incredibly tight I am gripping the organisational controls which run our home and our lives.

It is in glorious moments like these, as my emotions escape me, and I feel way out of control that I am also able to learn the greatest lessons and gain incredible insights.

When the heat of panic burns inside, while my knuckles turn white from holding my pen too tight and the sound of my voice is growing loud and squeaky I know I am  about to receive the gift of increased self awareness.

I slowed down and began listening to my thoughts and self chatter.  I wrote about them in my journal, I followed these feelings I was so unprepared for.

Now my own white hot truth stares back at me from the page……I am very anxious at the thought of letting go.

My enthusiasm and perfectionism are getting in the way of the growth and independence of those around me.

independence

This week I have the perfect chance to take a giant leap back.   To create the space my children need to grow and improve their responsibility.

To let them experience days when things are forgotten and they are forced to think for themselves.  

To have a chance to feel natural consequences.

This is also a time when my husband gets to parent with his own flair and personality, without me hovering over his shoulder and offering up endless advice.

Time to step away from the home control lever and use both my hands to re-grasp my career and steer it toward the future.

This week as I embark on my learning journey so does my family.

What have your learnt about yourself lately?

Signature large photo Signaturelarge_zps82b3ad36.png

Filed Under: Being Mum, Feeling Inspired, Time to reflect Tagged With: Family, Growth, reflection

Comments

  1. Tamara says

    February 25, 2014 at 2:08 am

    This is so amazing.
    I’ve been thinking lately about going to a blogging conference and how it would be JUST FOR ME. And it’s been awhile. My kids are so young and I have many years of enthusiasm for everything they do, but I guess I need some for me too. It will be interesting!

    Reply
  2. Mo at Mocadeaux says

    February 25, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Now is the time to rely on your family team. They will help you and support you as you undertake this new challenge. Go get ’em girl!

    Reply
  3. Nicole says

    February 25, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Ohhh, I love the realization that sometimes our motherly enthusiasm can be smothering. I’m definitely guilty of this! Sometimes we need to relinquish control & trust that everything will be alright.

    Reply
  4. Corlie says

    March 4, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Karen, its uncanny how your posts speak to me… Yes I micromanage too. It never even occurred to me that it may crowd other’s individuality. I have a note stuck on the wall above my computer saying life should be touched not strangled, maybe I’ll add people into that sentence.

    Reply
    • Karen Main says

      March 4, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      Corlie I love it yes it is best not to strangle life or people.

      Reply

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Meet Karen

Karen Main is a Life Leadership Coach for people who are ready to make a change in their lives.
Through her coaching, workshops and speaking gigs she’s here to help you design a life you love — while making it all feel like a celebration.
And when she’s not working, you can find her indulging in a long walk with the dog, laughing with her kids or at her favourite yoga class Read More…

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